At two years old, your verbal form of communication is in its beginning stages of development. Researchers (I heard) believe that children have temper tantrums or impulse emotions whenever they are misunderstood or unable to communicate their feelings. This is when feelings are your worst enemy.
Why Feelings Are Your Worst Enemy
What is crazy is that people have continued to have temper tantrums into their twenties and onward. The level of emotional maturity in people is poor, and it is a shame that people do not understand that your feelings should not control your actions. Your feelings are your worst enemy. Do not worry; I did not know it either, and today I feel that my success has been given to me by this lesson I learned.
It is written in Scripture to not act rashly (sin) in your anger.
Anger in Ephesians 4:26-27
Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
Even if you do not believe in Scripture, these verses have a point. I know we have all been in awkward situations where someone lashed out at another person because they felt like it, and you were a witness to this act. I remember I had a group of boys test my patience at work.
It was not until they left that I let out my frustration, but I did not let it out to them because I knew it would be pointless. Ten years ago I would have had a fit and yelled at them for being so rude.
If I spent time giving in to every single person who did me wrong, I would waste so much time. This is why I believe feelings are your worst enemy.
Biblical Wisdom on Anger and Rash Actions
Feelings like to be comfortable. They like to be relaxed, lazy, and perform with minimal effort. It is human nature to have pride, impatience, and to get upset. You do not have to teach anyone that.
That is not the only way our feelings try to get the best of us. I want to make sure you understand that I do not mean that having feelings is wrong, but acting upon them in the wrong way is.
But how do you get over that? How do you get control over your emotions? The first step is knowing that your feelings want to be in control.
Your feelings are not going to be happy unless they get their way. It is easier to give in to your feelings than to say no to them.
Be an Adult: Don’t Let Feelings Rule Your Decisions
It is okay to give in when we are two years old. The problem happens when we are 42 and we are still being ruled by our feelings. If you let your feelings control your decisions, it will limit how far you can go. Your feelings are your worst enemy.
We cannot give in to what we feel. No matter what you feel, our feelings will always lead us down the wrong path. Your feelings say things like, “I am tired; I do not need to go to work today.” Your feelings will want you to be rude or to get the last word in disagreements or misunderstandings.
They will even go as far as telling you that you want another cookie or an extra brownie when you do not need it. It may even tell you to hook up with someone for the satisfaction in the moment, but later your current relationship will suffer.
But, deep down, if you listen closely, your Spirit will tell you no. Your Spirit will tell you that what you ate was enough. It will tell you to control yourself.
Unfortunately, today, control is looked down upon. We praise people who party uncontrollably, spend their money or time high and drunk, overeat, or stay home being lazy.
You need to use your feelings as indicators that something may be wrong. Otherwise, your feelings are your worst enemy.
Comfort vs. Growth: The Cost of Giving In
Like I said earlier, your feelings want you to be comfortable, but if you are always satisfied, you will never grow. You will notice that you are in the same place you were two years ago, all because you gave in to your feelings.
At some point, you either learn to climb over your hill, or you will accept that your feelings are really who you are (when they are not) and continue overeating, having an attitude, being impatient, or sticking with pridefulness. Get past the temporary pain; choose to follow Spirit.
The harder it gets to say no to your flesh just means you are growing in that area in life.
The two hardest things I struggle with are eating too many chocolate chip cookies or sweets. The second thing I struggle with is purchasing items I do not need. I can have a list of what I need to buy in my head or on paper, but my flesh always finds something that I forgot to add to my list or that I now need.
Instead of seeing it as a negative thing, I encourage you to see this discipline as an opportunity to grow.
Who’s the Boss? Think About Later, Not Just Now
I love how Joel Osteen states in his podcast episode, “Who’s the Boss?” that we need to think more about later on. Our feelings only tell us about right now, and a mature person does not get stuck on the emotion of the moment. They always think about later on.
Right now, your flesh may tell you that it wants junk food. You may submit and give it what it wants, but later on, you will regret eating what you ate, buying what you bought, or saying what you said. It always happens.
Later on, you will be healthier. Later on, you will not have a job if you tell off your boss. The results are all up to you.
It is hard to hold back, but it is better to tell your flesh not to control your life anymore. The more you say no and do not allow your flesh to control you, the more your character grows. You can be entrusted with more opportunities from God.
Keep Your Feelings in Check: Listen to the Spirit
Keep in mind that your flesh will always want you to eat more, spend more, lash out more, and work less. It is not so easy to tell who is saying what. But if you listen, you will hear that the flesh speaks loudly while the Spirit talks softly.
If you give in to your flesh instead of paying the price to get disciplined, you will feel the effect later when you have to pay your bills, when you go to the doctors, or when you need help from someone you told off.
Your decisions need to be made based on wisdom. People who use wisdom have done the right thing when it got hard. They let themselves get disciplined by the Spirit.
You Choose: Flesh or Spirit – The Eternal Harvest
These people are good at saying no. Choose discipline and reap wonderful gifts from God. Choose to listen closely to the Spirit.
If you really think about it, your flesh will never tell you that if you buy that new Michael Kors purse, you will not have any money to put in it in two weeks. It will never admit the negative results to what it wants to do now, in the moment.
Your flesh will only tell you to give it food right now. Your feelings will tell you what they want, but it does not mean it is best for you.
The flesh will want you to get angry or to stay bitter toward people who hurt you.
The flesh and Spirit are always battling to be heard by you.
You get to choose who is in control. Only you can make that decision.
Are you going to let your flesh take control over your life? Will you keep letting your feelings rule your life?
Tell your flesh no, and that it is not the boss of you. If you sow to your flesh, you will reap decay and destruction, but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap life and life eternal.
Galatians 6:8
Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.
You Choose: Flesh or Spirit – The Eternal Harvest
You must do the right thing when it is hard, so you can reap blessings and increase in this earth. You must do the right thing to keep relationships strong and to keep yourself healthy.
Practice discipline, and you will come into a great harvest. Do not let the flesh take control of your life like a dictator that leaves you doing nothing but following orders.
In reality, we feel things. We have feelings, and we were made that way. We are emotional beings. Just because you feel something does not mean you should act on it. Do not act on anger, pride, or jealousy.
Final Takeaway: Discipline Over Feelings Every Day
As soon as you begin to practice discipline, expect your flesh to want to yell loudly. It is an ongoing process that you and I cannot let take control again.
Every day, we must learn to say no to certain feelings. Every day we must say no to our flesh.
Inspired by Joel Osteen’s sermon, “Who’s the Boss”.
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson